Sunday, March 10, 2024

Acceptance

Well, it has been a long week for me. My last post was about the great practice workout I had last Sunday with some members of the Greater Philadelphia Track Club. On Monday, I was feeling great, so I decided to do my usual 3-mile run on the treadmill. I only warmed up for a couple of minutes before I cranked the speed to 8, so that I could do three, eight-minute miles (though earlier in the morning I did my Pilates mat practice with Meagan). I had the incline set to an easy .5 . . . and I was feeling fantastic. I completed the first mile in 7 minutes 30 seconds, and, again, felt just great! Then it happened:

Suddenly, out of nowhere, my right hamstring seized up. I immediately lowered the speed and tried to walk it out . . . but it was more serious pain than just a cramp. I got off the machine, went to the mat again to do some long, slow passive stretching. I walked home fine (but could feel something was "off"). I iced and elevated the leg. Tuesday morning I woke and didn't feel any pain. I watched all sorts of YouTube vids and visited lots of other sites to get guidance on how to proceed. "RICE" was a theme (rest, ice, compression, elevate). I jogged very slowly to my Pilates session on that morning, and told Meagan what happened. We did a wonderful restorative session with lots of passive stretches and gentle movements. I felt great after, walked to the gym, did an arm workout. I took Wednesday off completely, as I could still feel a slight "something" in my hamstring. Thursday morning I walked 3/4 of the way to Pilates, then an easy jog for the last part. But as I was trying to catch the last light, I picked up the pace, and I felt my muscle kind of seize up again (just a bit). It totally bummed me out. After, when I was walking over to Penn to pick up Tango for his vet appointment, I tested with a little jog, and I could feel the pain again, and I was completely upset about the whole thing. I knew it would be a whole week off from the track workouts. . . . I hated to do it, but I knew it was right. Friday I went to the gym, did my Pilates routine (no pain) and weights--shoulders and back. I took yesterday off completely. And this morning I went out to the GPTC practice to see how it felt. I did a nice, slow, jog--mile warm up (no pain). I did some dynamic stretching/warm-up drills that I found online, completing everything that was suggested. I decided to try and run with the distance runners again (they were going to do 6 x 1000m splits). I took off at the back of the pack, and immediately felt pain in my hamstring. I stopped. Walked some, did a good 30 minutes of passive stretching and a brief core workout (truncated Pilates mat routine). 

I am at moments completely distraught, pissed, disappointed . . . I did not foresee an injury like this when I started training on the track a month ago. I hadn't felt any pain. I had no clue or indication that I needed to do something differently or take special care of my hamstrings. When I was a sophomore in high school, towards the end of the track season, I pulled a muscle in my groin. It was very painful; I had to stop running immediately when it happened, dropped to the ground. I remember being awake in pain most of the night the day it happened. So I think I know what a full-on tear or "pull" is, and my hamstring does not feel like that. That injury ended my season, I think there where 2 or 3 weeks left. Eventually, it repaired, and I was running again months later. The thing that really gets me today is that I thought I was progressing slowly and with intention as I made it back to the track these 40 plus years later. As mentioned, I have had a good 2 years of running about 3 + miles, 5-6 days a week. I have been doing weight training as well, plus the regular Pilates. All I can surmise is the following:

1. Perhaps I was overtaxing my muscles, not taking the proper amount of rest days between hard workouts.

2. Perhaps the fact that I have not been doing any dynamic stretching/warm-up drills before faster runs was the big mistake (though I always led with a slow warm-up jog).

3. Perhaps speed training should not be done on a treadmill. It is a conveyor belt, after all--your legs have to keep moving at the pace even if they might need a slow-down adjustment. The legs have to keep the pace, and maybe that can cause strains/tears/pulls.

All in all, I feel heartbroken. Like my dream of running track is over. Like the muscle will never heal or it will take ages. I'm so bummed. I'm just left with what to do next . . . and I know the answer is that first I must accept the situation/injury exactly as it is. Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems. I need to accept where my body is at, stop running for the week, maybe two weeks, maybe three? Oh gosh, I can't think. Icing my hamstring as I type this . . . leg elevated. I bought a compression bandage that I will put on. Ice again in a couple of hours.  

I am tempted to cast this as one of the darkest days of my life . . . but I know the answer is that I must accept it, and keep hoping for the future, for a completely healed hamstring.